In Loving Memory

My cousin, Bonnie Ilene Peterson-Hoschouer passed away on April 20, 2008 ~ the funeral was today. She was 41 years, 2 months, 6 days old. She died unexpectedly from an accidental prescription drug overdose. She is survived by her son, James (20), daughter Laurie (17), daughter Katie (12), and grandson Christopher (1) ~ plus her mother, Arlene, two brothers, a sister, and countless cousins and family.  We were very sad and blown away by her passing.  My aunt is not doing well and Bonnie's kids seem shocked ~ I don't think it has sunk in yet. 

Psalm 23 was chosen by Bonnie's family:

The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.

He maketh me to lie down in green pastures; He leadeth me beside the still waters.

He restoreth my soul; He leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his names sake.

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; for thou are with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.

Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies; thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.

Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the day of my life; and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.

Amen.

I am not close to my cousins ~ even though they live here in town ~ and these tragedies always make me reflect on family and the relationships we have with our family. I wish I was closer to my nieces, nephews, cousins, aunts, uncles... it just seems like we are all caught up in our own lives and we just drift further apart ~ months, then years go by before we know it and we haven't seen any of our extended family. I want my kids to be close to their family ~ each family member leaves a unique imprint on all our lives. I wish we all lived closer so that we could spend holidays, birthdays, anniversaries...and all the days in between together.  It makes me sad that my kids can't spend the weekend or even an evening hanging with Grandma or Grandpa...that they only know cousins by a photograph, that they have no idea that they have great-aunts and great-uncles, second and third cousins.  It just makes me sad.  My heart is heavy tonight as I think of Bonnie's children and the rough time they have ahead of them, trying to come to terms with losing their mom at such a young age. I will be thinking of them often.

New phrases from Ben

Ben has really made progress in his speech lately! Within the last week or so, he has exploded with new words and, more notably, new phrases! I can't help but note that he has been in the new school for a week and a half....coincidence?...I think not. Here are a few of his newest phrases:

• "I am SO excited!" ~ when I handed him a new puzzle that I brought back from Ohio
• "I'm trying to!!" ~ when I asked him to come downstairs...he was trying to pick up an armful of books to bring down with him.
• "You the best mom ever!" ~ witnessed by Scott and Cailey...and I was so happy to hear this one! :o)
• "I love you so much!" ~ he has been saying "love ew" for a little while...but now it is clear and articulate and he has added the "so much" part!
• "You want a piece of me?" or "Listen hear mister" or "I open a can on you"(can of whoop-ass is what he means...but we don't say the "whoop-ass" part :o) ~ thanks to Daddy for these...these are commonly heard phrases when they are wrestling :o)
• "I've got to go potty!" ~ a milestone in more than one way...he even says this when we are out-and-about!!! Yeah, Ben!!!
• "Of course I can" ~ when asked if he can reach something off the counter top.
• "No, I am still sleepy" ~ when asked if he is ready to get out of bed...and then, "Shut the door!" when I walked back out of his room...he went back to sleep for an hour and a half!
• "Turn the volume up, please!" ~ when he can't hear the T.V. or radio
• "You're welcome" ~ obviously responding to "thank you"
• "Who's coming to our home 'night?" ~ asked one Saturday afternoon..cute!
• "That's delicious!" or "That's gross" (followed by a gagging sound. Nice!) ~ his response to almost all food :o) It's either one of these extremes...nothing in between.
• "Ms. Paula, how you horses?" ~ Ms. Paula is his speech therapist and he LOVES her so much! She talks about her horses a lot and out of the blue Ben asked her how they were doing! The look on her face was classic and she thanked him profusely for asking!
• "Ms. Paula coming to my home today?" ~ he asks almost daily...but he only gets to see her every other week :o/
• "Like this?" ~ showing me his shoes to make sure they are on the correct foot...I love that he asks if they are correct, but he still wants to put them on himself.
• "It's windy outside" ~ he wanted to go out in the back yard and he was informing me that it was windy to make sure it was still okay to go outside...so cute!
• "Forty pounds" ~ his response to how much anything/everything costs or weighs...it's just cute.
• "Watch for cars, no cross street!" ~ at least I know he is listening to some things I drill into his head :o}
• "B.E.N...BEN!" ~ we are working on spelling his name...this one is still a work in progress because it isn't consistent...sometimes he says something like "R.D.S...BEN!"...but he's still very proud of himself (HA HA HA!)
• "Put this in wittle bowl. It's too hard. I just a wittle boy." ~ this was this morning when I gave him a frozen tube of yogurt and he couldn't get it to come out of the tube. I thought it was one of the cutest things ever.
• "I need put this phone away" ~ I am known to leave the cordless phone laying around, not on it's cradle. Scott should be pleased that he has trained Ben to put the phone away so he doesn't have to as often :o) :o)
• "You okay?" ~ if you sneeze or cough or say "ow" for any reason, Ben will ask if you are okay :o)
• "Yes, EXACTLY!" ~ confirming that he wanted to eat Mac & Cheese and a hot dog for dinner. This one just happened so I had to add it to the list.

Scott's additions:

• "That's silly!"
• "That's awesome!"
• "It's great!" ~ when Scott asked him how school was
• Ben and I walked into Cailey's school yesterday to pick her up from Girl Scouts. One of the little girls' sister, Kaitlyn, ran up to Ben and said, "Ben, come play with us!" Ben put up his hand and strutted away while saying, "I go see my sis-er first. I be back"

More to come!!!!!

Ohio

I arrived home from Ohio late last night! I left Friday night to go visit my BFF, Carrie, in Ohio for her baby shower. I LOVE going back to Ohio ~ I always feel so happy when I get to visit. Carrie's parent live on a farm (sheep, cattle, Holly The Dog, and Jenny The Donkey!...and Maggie...Carrie and Brandon's dog) and the Little-js always make me feel so welcome and loved. I went by myself this time because it was just going to be a quick trip ~ Scott stayed home with Cailey and Ben ~ I missed my family, but it was still nice to get away for a couple of nights. I know Cailey and Ben would love the animals and Carrie's family so much ~ maybe next time. On Friday, I didn't arrive until 12:00a (yes, a.m.). Carrie, Momma Little-j, and Lynn waited at the airport for me ~ SO SWEET, considering it was so late. I left Sunday night to come home. Carrie's baby shower was Saturday. We also were able to get a little group of high school friends together Saturday night for drinks and snacks ~ a little reunion of sorts. I love that so many us are still in contact after so many years. Because I moved around so much, that is something that is very foreign (and special) to me...to have lasting friendships and relationships is a real gift. Finally, the Little-js invited me to lunch Sunday afternoon and then humored me by driving me around town so I could take a little driving tour down memory lane to see my old house and some old stomping grounds. I would love to move back to Ohio ~ I love the small town atmosphere and the genuine kindness of everyone I come into contact with ~ it calms my soul and makes me happy. Carrie looks great preggers ...makes me smile to see her healthy and glowing and anticipating the arrival of their first baby. Oh, how life will change for them...but it's a good change :o) I am so excited to meet Baby M.!!! Carrie and Brandon don't know if it's a boy or girl ~ my bet is that it's a girl!!! I even bought a couple of pink gifts because I am so sure it's a girl :o) :o) I am excited for Carrie and Brandon and I know they will be excellent parents ~ what a lucky baby.

Scott hired our cleaning lady back while I was out of town ~ we dropped the cleaning lady when I took my leave of absence in order to save money, but now that I am back to work full-time, I have been wanting that luxury back, too :o) So the house is nice and clean!!! It was a wonderful, wonderful surprise! Isn't he great!! The kids were both asleep in the car when they picked me up at the airport at midnight. United lost my suitcase! Weird ~ this is only the second time that I have had luggage lost by the airline and both times it has been the same suitcase. Also, I have only used this suitcase twice. So, apparently this suitcase is cursed and I am going to throw it out and buy new luggage. We need new luggage anyway, so now I have a legitimate excuse :o)

Just a couple of pictures ~ I didn't take my nice camera (too big to lug around) and I was stuck with our little one...which I hate because it has a delay when trying to take pictures. Plus, the quality of pictures isn't even close to the great quality of my Nikon...grrrr!! Oh, well.

Baby GIRL M.'s first pink Chuck Taylors :o)!!

I know...my eyes are closed...I hate that little camera...grrrr!

The Littlej's ~ Rog, Carrie (and Baby M!), Lynn, and Momma...Vince is in Germany :o)

The Mommy Test

My friend, Terra, sent this to me. I have seen it before and it always makes me laugh. Thanks, Terra.

The Mommy Test:
I was out walking with my 3 year old daughter. She picked up something off the ground and started to put it in her mouth. I took the item away from her and I asked her not to do that. "Why?" my daughter asked. "Because it's been on the ground, you don't know where it's been, it's dirty and probably has germs" I replied. At this point, my daughter looked at me with total admiration and asked, "Mommy, how do you know all this stuff? You are so smart." I was thinking quickly. "All moms know this stuff. It's on the Mommy Test. You have to know it, or they don't let you be a Mommy." We walked along in silence for 2 or 3 minutes, but she was evidently pondering this new information. "OH...I get it!" she beamed, "So if you don't pass the test you have to be the daddy." "Exactly" I replied back with a big smile on my face.

Update

Ben did really well today. He wore his backpack into school and was very excited when we got to school.  When we arrived, the class was getting ready to go outside. This is a hectic time for any school ~ getting everyone to go potty, get their coats on, and sit nicely while they wait for everyone to get ready. But, during the transition, this class was definitely more calm and organized then any class I have seen so far.  I went outside with Ben and he immediately ran to the bikes. He spent a minute or two riding bikes and then he saw the sand box. He played in the sand box for a minute (literally) before he spied the slide/jungle gym and then he was off running towards that.  He climbed and laughed and generally enjoyed himself. Then he was off again to the sand box. At this point I gave him the two minute warning that I would be leaving, but that he could stay and play with his new friends. When I went to leave, he started to cry.  Ms. Gretchen picked him up and held him for a few minutes. I hid in one of the classrooms where I could see him and he stopped crying within those few minutes. Then, I watched him from the monitors in the lobby (did I mention that each classroom and the playgrounds have cameras and can be viewed by a wall of monitors in the lobby? Awesome!).  When Cailey and I arrived this afternoon, Ben was in the Art room. He was painting and having tons of fun. His teacher said he did a great job today. He didn't nap, but I am not surprised...there is so much to take in and he probably didn't want to sleep today.  But, she said he rested quietly on his mat and was not disruptive. YEAH BEN!! On the way home Ben talked about the computers, art, dancing, and toys!!! He was SOOO talkative this afternoon ~ more than I have heard EVER!!!  He talked the whole way home!!!  I take that as a really good sign.  My only complaint ~ his teacher said he had a poop accident at school, so she threw his underwear away!!! WHAT???  THROW THEM AWAY??? I was kinda pissed. I don't expect them to clean the underwear, but they can put them in a zip lock bag and I will clean/wash them at home! Don't throw them away!!! Especially because the underwear was a more expensive pair from The Children's Place...I was experimenting with the waist band comfort for Ben...he says the cheap ones from WalMart "itch"...of course they do...figures! So, I was pissed about that. Oh, well. I will make a note to remind them not to throw away any clothes in the future. Geesh! 

All in all I am very happy about this move so far. It feels right to me.

Another first

Here we go again.  Ben's first day of school ~ again.  Ben started at Creme de la Creme this morning (www.cremedelacreme.com ~ be sure to look at the virtual tour!).  I love this school so far. It's calm, clean, and organized. There is so much stimulation for the little ones and Ben loves all the things to look at.  This school has a coy pond (inside the lobby by the gazebo!) and Ben thinks that is better than anything he has seen before.  The playground is great and they have lots and lots of bikes and push cars to go around, a sand box, and a great jungle gym. The classroom has great toys and Ben was so excited to see all the cars and books and blocks. His "uniform" (sweatpants and a t-shirt) is a little dorky...okay, a lot dorky, but it takes all the stress out of dressing in the morning and Ben prefers the sweatpants over jeans any day. Ben loves his Creme back-pack and wore it all morning and then wanted to wear it into school...so cute!  I am so excited to see Benjamin thrive at this school. My first impression of Ms. Gretchen, his teacher, is that she is sweet and the kids all seem to respect and love her. Here's hoping to a better experience this go around.

Heavy Sigh

The preschool problems rage on. After our talk last week, Ben's school still hasn't made any real changes and I am fed up. I just can't stand the school and I want to move him. I went to tour another preschool, Creme de la Creme. Yes, it's as snooty as the name implies. BUT, I like the structured curriculum and the set up of the school. It's a little more expensive than CC or Primrose Schools ~ but, let's be honest, once you pay this much for preschool/child care, what's a "little" more really :o) Creme de la Creme has uniforms, which I really like ~ no fighting or stressing about what to wear each day! They have a little water park for the summer months, Spanish class, art class, PE, great playground, music class...the list goes on. The kids switch classrooms/activities every 30 minutes. The kids have a "home room" with two teacher and then each class (art, music, Spanish) has a teacher ~ the two home room teachers move with the kids to each class. They have two cooks and three housekeepers on staff. This school just seems more like a school than a daycare. They also have security cameras in each class with monitors in the front lobby. You can watch your kids in any classroom at any time.

My other problem is work. I am still not sure if I want to keep working full-time. My six month sabbatical only served to show me how happy I was being a SAHM. On one hand, the pay check is so nice and helps to take away financial pressures, but on the other hand, I feel the pressure to be all these different roles ~ and do them all great...or relatively great. Great at my job, great mom, great wife, great friend, great sister/daughter/auntie...it's overwhelming and I know that without my job I am more focused on my family and I feel good about that. So, our little family is in a state of flux and it doesn't feel good, but we will get through it, I know.

Scott started at his new bank yesterday. So far so good (HA HA HA). The commute sucks. I think he will like the new location, though. Here's hoping!

I haven't downloaded new pictures from my camera, so I just attached one of my favorite pictures from our trip to L.A. and the Enchanted premiere. It made me smile.