A hungry, tired boy makes for a lousy day at the pool

Poor Cailey ~ I realized some time ago that she gets the raw end of the deal most of the time because she is so much older than Ben. She is such a good girl, but she ends up losing out on fun things because Ben isn't behaving or because I don't want Ben to have whatever it is she wants (i.e., popsicles, candy, chips, ice cream, etc.).

Today she wanted to go to the pool and slide down the big slide inside the rec center. We got to the pool, but Ben only lasted about 30 minutes before he started to melt down...it was my fault, we got there right about lunch time so he was hungry and he was tired. He didn't want in the pool, he didn't want out of the pool, he didn't want to swim in the "baby" pool ~ but, he doesn't want anyone to hold him in the big pool...he thinks he can swim. I bought a floatation vest thing hoping that would give him more freedom...yeah right, he didn't like the feel of the wet vest on his skin (ugh!). Cailey was so good at the zoo yesterday and she is usually a really big help around the house and when we go to the store or restaurant (we don't worry about Cailey ~ she's our calm one). All she wanted to do today was go swimming and go down the slide. So, when Ben started screaming at the top of his lungs and kicking his feet and crying...I would have normally left and gone home. But, what do I do for Cailey? Why should she miss out because Ben is misbehaving? She's being good but she would have to go home, too. What message is that sending her? She has started to make comments about the attention Ben gets, that Ben breaks everything, that Ben always ruins everything...I know, she's 6 and she is being very dramatic...but, there is some truth to it and I am not always sure of the best way to handle the situation. Today, my solution was to put Ben in time-out on the lounge chair (still screaming) and make him eat lunch while Cailey played in the pool. He didn't like that and it sent a very clear message to him. Anyway, Ben's mood improved with a full belly and we ended up spending two hours at the pool, but by the time we left Ben needed a nap BADLY and I just couldn't wait for Cailey to go down the slide (there is a long line of kids for the ONE slide). I felt bad that she didn't get to go down the slide and I am trying to explain to her that Ben is getting older every day and he will outgrow this stage...she just has to be patient with us. Still...that's one of the few drawbacks of spacing our kids so far apart.