Ben's doing good

Ben came through the surgery just great! He went into surgery at about 9:00a. We got to go back with him when they put him under anesthesia. He didn't like the mask on his face, but it only took about 30 seconds before he was out cold; they quickly ushered us out and then we waited. The surgery took about 3o minutes and then we waited about another 30 minutes to go back to see him in the recovery room. Ben was groggy, but already asking to eat ~ that's my boy! Shortly after they took us up to his room and we were allowed to get him some lunch. Ben ate mac & cheese for lunch! They said he could eat whatever he wanted, so that's what he did. He also had chicken nuggets and french fries for dinner. He was drinking tons and peeing like a champ! He also went down to the playroom and played for a while. I did notice that he got tired very easily and the color in his face wasn't right. He was asking for pain medicine and was very grumpy.

Our night, however, was rough. Not so much because of Ben's pain, but because it's a hospital and someone was coming in about every four hours. Also, Ben's pulse thing on his finger kept coming off and then the alarms would go off. Ben slept about five hour total (but not all at once) and I slept about half that. By mid-morning, Ben was stir-crazy and ready to go home. Thankfully, they let us out around 11a.

Yesterday was also rough. I think the pain has caught up with him and we are having a hard time staying on top of it. Ben is on Lortab ~ liquid Vicodin + acetaminophen ~ and he can only have it every six hours. However, the pain starts coming back at about four hours. Ben won't eat and is having a hard time swallowing ~ even his spit. He won't even eat ice cream ~ his favorite ~ or Jell-O or pudding or Sprite. He will suck on a popsicle, but that's about it. We found these suckers with a numbing agent in them and that has worked to get us closer to the six hour mark when we can give him more pain medicine. Also, he gets tired really easily.

Here's the thing. I am pretty strong, I think. I can handle seeing him in his little hospital gown. I can handle seeing someone force a mask over his nose and mouth and then watch his eyes roll back and then seeing him completely unconscious. I can handle the little blood that he coughs up or the whimpers of pain or the bruise on his hand from the I.V. Here's what is bothering me ~ A LOT: Ben's voice has changed. They told us it would and I believed them ~ but I didn't imagine it would change so much or that it would bother me so much. His voice is higher and whiny, now. It just doesn't sound like my baby. He says all the same words, but the words sound like they are coming from another child. I am searching within myself, trying to figure out why it is making me so sad. It's still Ben, he made it through the surgery, his recover is going relatively well ~ I couldn't ask for anything more. But, I was so attached to that voice. I miss it and now I am trying to get used to this new voice. I know I will, with time, but it's still weird when I hear it.