Camp

Cailey was off to Girl Scout camp this morning. I thought I would be much better about it. But, as the day drew near I found myself getting more and more anxious. The anxiety finally took it's hold this morning when I woke up at 4am and couldn't get back to sleep.

She will be gone for two nights. I am okay with her being overnight somewhere else (we've been apart overnight many times). The problem I am having is that I have NO contact with her for three full days and two nights. I can't tell her goodnight, I can't say "I love you", I can't remind her to put sunscreen on, to be nice to her new friends, or to drink lots and lots of water so she doesn't get leg pains in the middle of the night. My head tells me it's for her own good ~ for my own good, for that matter. I know she is old enough ~ old enough to start learning to take care of herself and solve her own problems. Maybe that's the problem ~ maybe the realization of her growing up and not needing me is setting in. I was a mess on the inside (I don't think Cailey saw) when we left, but Cailey seemed to be at complete ease with camp ~ wanted us to leave almost as soon as we got there. She doesn't know anyone in her cabin, but that didn't seem to bother her. She was actually excited and was not timid at all...that's Daddy's girl...she is certainly not like me in this area...I am painfully shy. I know she will have a good time and I know the camp is run really well. They go into complete lock-down for the three days and there are four counselors to every cabin. They do this every summer, all summer. I just can't wait to pick her up on Tuesday evening! I will be a mess until then.